"THE HATT AND THE BATT"

These are two humans who seem relatively harmless, if not annoying:

FINGAS HATT

The first has two skinny blades sheathed at his side.  He is garbed in fine leathers, jerkin, and other accoutrements that make him appear somewhat wealthy, well groomed, and with a fine military-like stance, though he is not in a uniform.  Well over six feet tall, he has a wide, amicable smile, and is about thirty years old with blondish hair.  He has the type of handsomeness that many women would swoon over, and the way he carries himself with confidence, he seems to know it.

His companion is starkly different.  He is garbed in a plain priestly robe.  His face is covered in tattoos, and though the hood is up, he appears bald headed.  You take him for some sort of cleric or monk, in very good physical form, though quite a bit shorter than his companion.  You cannot see what he may conceal beneath the robe, but he is looking at an ancient tome of some sort when he enters, almost as if not even noticing you are here.

The well groomed man says, in happy surprise, "Well, well, what do we have here?  These men surely can't be those we were asked to meet.  They look too battle worn and hungry."  He smiles as if this is a joke, but when no one responds, he says, "Surely, that old wizard..."  He turns to his companion, "What was his name?  Ember? Cinder?"

The other man says, "Ashe."

"Yes," the first says with a snap of his fingers.  "Surely Ashe told you we would be meeting you at some point?  Fingas?" he says to you, as if you should recognize it.  "Come on, you never heard of me?  Fingas Hatt?  Of the Rendathian Hatts?"  He says to his companion, "Well, I guess not everyone can have heard of me."

He turns back to you.  "My family also came from a Pocket.  That's what Ashe calls it.  A Pocket from the old -- or alternate -- or whatever -- Tienna, that got brought to this Allevia.  But we were brought here 40 years ago, before I was born even.  That time-space thing doesn't always work with exactness.  Anyhow, I suppose you're here to kill the dragon?  That's what we're here to do.  I don't know if your ragtag group can deal with something that...formidable.  But I thought we'd come up the back way through the cave.  I see you've gotten here first.  But I bet you a hundred Silver we'll get to the dragon first."

He spreads his arms, as if expecting some sort of response--in recognition, cooperation, or friendly gestures.  He does not appear in any way to mean you any harm, and you do not get the feeling that he is not who he says he is -- whoever that is.  If anything, he appears overconfident and harmless, used to living off his fame.

"You speak the Common tongue, yes?  You are...what were the names?" he says to his companion.

The cleric says, names coming easily to mind, "Borimer, Kahan, Donovan, Tahldar, Shapfren, Shae, and there was a Leogold, Lukas, and Hatchman, if they are all here and alive still."

"We just slew something like thirty giants a couple hours ago," Fingas says to you.  "Their bodies litter the ground below.  Too bad the bridge was broken.  We had to fly across."  He looks at you like that might impress you.  "So next, on to the dragon, right?"

BATRUSS MOONSHADOW

The second human is a much more sedate monk. The monk speaks up, his tone almost as light-hearted as his companion, "And my name is Batruss Moonshadow.  You have not heard of the Hatt and the Bat before?  Not even of the Seeking Herpes From the North incident?  That's pretty famous."

Fingas begins to redden in the face.  "That was an accident."

Batruss looks at him, and Fingas grows more red.  "I mean, it was a misprint.  A scrivener's error."

Fingas talks quickly, feeling the need to explain.  "We were gathering mercenaries to go on a short quest, and the sign said it was seeking heroes from the north.  They were to join us in the quest.  But there was this grain in the wood, and it aligned perfectly with the left side of the "o" in "heroes"..."

"Making it look like you were looking for herpes," Batruss says with a laugh.  Fingas does not laugh in return.

"We'll race you to the dragon," Fingas says instead.  "First one there gets slaying rights."  He seems to take no notice in the rooms you are in or anything else.